. . . in Him we live and move and have our being . . .
Acts 17:28
How difficult it would be to have had your dreams of companionship and love destroyed by your husband. Destroyed by that one who was to nurture you, to protect you, to love you sacrificially. To watch your children leave home scarred, embittered, rejected, empty, void of the love they never received from “Dad.” Never seeing the relationship develop between your son and your husband that you knew your son was searching for, longing for . . . that you knew should be there.
You wanted so desperately for your home to be a good home, a happy home, a haven . . . just a home. But it’s not. It’s just a house. A house with people living in it who don’t even know each other. Who don’t really care to know each other. Separated. Islands. Walls. High walls. Imposing barriers that lock people in and lock people out!
Quite unexpectedly your husband comes to you and says,
“I’m ready to change, but I’ll need your cooperation!”
My cooperation? The nerve of the man! How can he expect anything that has been so nonchalantly, and yet so carefully, so deliberately, so callously, and so deeply ingrained through the many hours and years of hurt and pain to be forgotten and undone so easily, so quickly?
“I’m ready.”
Just like that!
One thing I know. In my marriage and in your marriage . . . in every marriage, God has the same desire to reveal Himself to those around me that He had to reveal Himself to those surrounding His beloved Son. I find it really pretty easy to allow Christ to manifest Himself through me to those with whom I “casually” come in contact, with those who can’t hurt me. The difficulty lies in my own home . . . overlooking, giving, forgiving, ministering . . . when I long to be ministered to . . . giving, loving when I don’t feel loving, touching, or giving. Being gentle, being kind, being faithful, and giving over and over and over. Things I am completely incapable of doing, of being!
That’s when I find myself saying, “Lord! I cannot! You must!” He hears me, and He does.
I choose to believe that not only has my husband said, “I’m ready,” but God has said, “My precious child, your husband needs you now. I have been preparing you over these empty, loveless, desert years for just this moment.”
And I can say with quiet confidence, “I, too, am ready. You have taught me, Lord, strengthened me, prepared me for just such a time as this, and it is by Your mighty power dwelling within me that this moment will find me more than a conqueror!” (Romans 8:37)
And you find in your trembling heart just a glimmer of hope . . . maybe it isn’t too late.