“I simply cannot do this! I don’t even WANT to do this! And I’m not feeling well. I don’t think people should even expect me to undertake this job. It’s too demanding! God, You know how distressed I am! I’m angry, hurt, disillusioned, and disappointed–all of those things! I refuse to do it. I’ll just tell them that I can’t. I’ll say, ‘No way!’ That’s it! My mind is made up!”

You might determine from that brief monologue that I was a trifle (?) upset and the longer and more emphatically I spouted that stagnant dogma, the more upset I became. The day was ruined. I was setting out to spread my nauseous feelings over the entire household; that included Bill and Wesley, the dog. (Dogs can tell when you’re getting ready for an eruption! Wesley will head under the bed when he meets something he can’t handle. There are times when I wish I were small enough to get under there with him!)

I disliked my attitude, but my feelings were running rampant and I was “feeling” every word with all my senses and it “felt” good to get it all out! Then, I remembered. I remembered what I teach. Isn’t that a low blow? I thought about Philippians 4:13 that tells me that there is nothing that will come into my life that He can’t handle! I thought about being more than a conqueror over all the circumstances that come into my life–and this one wasn’t anywhere near the same category as all those listed in Romans 8:35: . . .tribulations, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword. My life wasn’t being threatened; I was fully clothed, and well fed. This was just something that I -Anabel – didn’t want to do. It interfered with my personal freedom, my time, my plans. Then I thought about that luscious fruit that the Holy Spirit would produce in me if I would simply cooperate with Him.

And, with those thoughts in mind, I smiled (it was difficult at first), reached down and gave Wes a loving pat, talked sweetly to Bill and gave him a little pat, and set my mind on the truth of who I am and that Christ lives in me. And I thanked Him: “Lord, You gave me victory over that horrible flesh tantrum. Thank You, thank You, thank You.” It was just amazing what began to happen in me. My emotions looked out and realized they could safely come down from their precarious perch; my whole body seemed to relax, and the tension just went away! It went away! How wonderful is our Lord Who gives us His life so that He can meet the minor irritations and the major ditches through us!

You know, one victory is so sweet to the taste that you’re ready to chalk up another one and you realize once again, He tells it like it is! I really am more than a conqueror through Him and I really can do things that I believe are beyond my ability because of Him and His indwelling presence. Why, oh why do I wind up throwing a tantrum just every so often? I hope you are smarter and more alert than I was that day. Oh, it hit your side of town, too? Now, we both know the answer, don’t we?

Thank You, Lord, that Your love for me never changes–whether I’m meeting those bothersome little inconveniences, difficult circumstances, or a tragic cataclysmic event. I know You have given me Yourself–Truth. I want to hold on to Truth–tenaciously.

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