My soul clings to You and

Your right hand upholds me . . .

Psalm 63:8

She shouldn’t have been on the field while the kids were playing ball–but “shouldn’t haves” are birthed by hindsight and those words can bring despondency, guilt, self-condemnation–all sorts of bad things. No, she should not have been on the ball field, but she was. The ball was hit strongly and struck her just above her eye. She fell back crying and kicking at everyone around her with pain and fear.

Her mother wasn’t there and her dad was not a “working” part of her young life so being alone made the pain much worse. Then, the young coach reached her, grabbed her in his arms and held her tightly to his chest. She succumbed to his tenderness and they were soon on their way to the emergency room. She was clinging to him so tightly that they refused to force her to let go–recognizing her fear and insecurity–even while the doctor examined her. She wasn’t seriously hurt, but it was a frightening experience–one that she would not soon forget.

Now, how does that little episode relate to me, Anabel, and to you? First of all, she was a little child and she was alone. Jesus tells us that we must become like “little children.” A small child is really not capable of analyzing the situation: What must I do now? How badly am I hurt? I’m so frightened. What’s going to happen to me? I’m all by myself. They just know that they’re hurting, they’re scared, and they need someone stronger than they are who cares–someone to cling to. And there we are – hurting, scared, longing for someone to hold me, be tender, be strong–someone to cling to so tightly that we refuse to let go.

If only we could read His words and accept them instead of trying to “make sense” out of them or “make them fit our theology!” The Scripture says, my soul clings to You and Your right hand upholds me. How much clearer could that be? My “soul” is me–the real me. It isn’t my body; it is the thinking, feeling, understanding part of me. It is my “soul” that yearns for someone to love me, hold me, be tender to me, understand how I am hurting and to go through hurt with me. Well, if we accept as truth His words for us, we HAVE that Someone who is closer to us than the very air we breathe.

We are hurt and He rushes to us, picks us up, grabs us tightly to His chest–so tightly that we can feel His heart beat! And He doesn’t ever leave us. He “allows” us to cling to Him while the “world” looks on and wonders what happened and how badly we are hurting and what’s going to happen now. But He is there! He holds on to us with His hand–His strong right hand–never letting go–assuring us of His presence.

All right. I see. But “seeing” isn’t the goal. Seeing and “claiming” it as mine–that’s the goal! Walking in His truth! So I am hurting. He is holding me. I am clinging to Him for dear life. He is still holding me. I feel His hand clutching my hand. I am not alone. I am never ever alone! I can hear His heart beating as I huddle deeper and closer to Him.

Words! Just words! Yes, until I accept them–embrace them–as truth for me.

Thank You, Lord Jesus. We put you outside our life and our frightening circumstances so often–when You are right here with us, holding us securely and loving us. I will cling to you. I refuse to let go!